Read On...

Well again, dear reader, it seems I must apologize for a long absence and tell you again how much I've missed you. However, this no longer seems to be an exception but rather, the rule (the modus operandi, if you will- and I know you will) of this, dare I say it? My blog.

We live in changing and turbulent times. While billionaire bankers continue receiving multimillion dollar bonuses, unemployment soars and oil has now effectively decimated the Gulf Coast affecting economies and wildlife for years to come.

But you know what is really crazy?

Redbox.

"Ooh, Babe, should tonight be the Lightning Thief or the Tooth Fairy?"

"Oh, I don't know, what about that new romantic dramedy with Ashton Kutcher?"

I found myself on the edge of my seat as this poor couple navigated their way through a series of harrowing interchanges such as these.
I was riveted as they pressed forward on the selector button to look through the new releases, and then back again when they couldn't decide. Dear Lord, New Moon or Hot Tub Time Machine? On his best day, I wouldn't ask my own father to make that decision!

Luckily, they made it out in one piece, and I now have memorized the entire trailer for "The Bounty Hunter" starring Gerard Butler and Jennifer Aniston. So you see, everyone got out OK.

Overhearing one half of a phone conversation is always an interesting event. For me, I always try to extrapolate from the tone and content of the speaker's voice what is happening on the other end. Are they upset? sad? Is this a catch-up conversation, or a "see-you-soon"?

Working in an an office, I can't help but overhear these sorts of conversations. Like this this one yesterday (keep in mind, this is just the one side):

Woman: "No!"
(Incredulously) "Shut your mouth!"
(Desperately) "But why would they do that?"
(Incredulously) -Gasp- "Shut your mouth!"

As this conversation proceeded, I tried to imagine the speaker on the other end trying to convince the woman of increasingly preposterous things ("They outlawed laughter!", "Canada made a good beer!"), and her incredulity at these statements.

In other news, I've been in Florida. Oh, you've heard of it? Well, has anyone told you how humid it is down there lately? And by lately I mean always? Anyway, I braved (brove? broved? was broving?) the heat to be a part of the marriage of Beth and Hunter Price. This was truly a wedding for the ages. Three years in the making; I was around for the whole ride on this one, and there are few weddings I've felt more emotionally invested in.
Vito Aiuto once said there are times in our lives where we realize "how thin the veil between natural and supernatural is". For me weddings, and especially this wedding, was an example of this.

But, they say a picture is worth a thousand words, so here you go. Enjoy.













We laughed. I cried (I think some others might have too). We danced. We sweat.

Check this out-

Exhibit A:

“Let’s go shoot us some tofurkeys.”

From www.latfh.com

oh, you haven't heard of it?

Summerten Mixtape (Side Two)

Dear Reader,

I know you've missed me. I've missed you too. But let's not talk about you & me, dear reader. No, we've come here for a much different purpose. I'm here to finish what I started. So, without further ado, Summerten Mixtape Side Two.

Don Henley- Boys of Summer: This one is a gimme. I've never listened to this song and thought, "Man, I sure am tired of that chorus." In fact, I'm pretty sure I've thought the complete opposite of that. Times ten. I'm not listening to the song right now, but if it doesn't end in a fade-out, it should. This is the kind of song that should just keep going.

Bibio- Lovers' Carvings: This group is new to me, but honestly, this was a tough pick. There's a lot of gems on their latest album. However, this one has that "summer" tone, that x-factor if you will (and I know you will).

White Stripes- Ball & Biscuit: This is an older song, from the album "Elephant", but right now I cannot get enough of this band. I love Jack White's talking blues on this song. I don't think I can say anything that hasn't already been said about him as a player, either. I would write a song with a catchy title about how much I love this band a la Ray LaMontagne, but unfortunately there's no way to rhyme "Jack White" with "sick-ass riffmeister".

Yeasayer- Ambling Alp: Like Bibio, this is another song that just feels at home in the hot weather. It also helps that it has a bubbly rhythm and an undeniably catchy chorus. This chorus will not be denied. Let the dance party begin.

The Police- Wrapped Around Your Finger: Another group that I always seem to come back to, the Synchronicity album, particularly side two, never fails to disappoint.

Explorer's Club- Forever: Reverb-heavy guitars. "Ooh-wee-oooh" harmonies. Songs with titles like "In the Sand". These guys memorized the Beach Boys playbook. And you know what? I don't hate it one bit. This song is an immensely catchy ode to requited love. And who doesn't like that?

I feel like there's more, but this is so overdue, we're going with it.

This is a record of two things of note which I have acquired recently. I'll address each individually.

First, the bottle opener. You have no idea how excited I was to find this the other day. I stumbled upon it in the supply closet at my work. It was as though the forces of time and circumstance had prepared a gift and placed it there, waiting in the supply closet. This is also an item that will show its use with time. Some initial thoughts:

Being able to fit in at a Kenny Chesney concert (finally)
I can say bro now with abandon (and really mean it)
Opening bottles

You'll also notice in the picture that my face has changed. I'm beginning to adjust to this new look. Initially, I was ambivalent, but as I thought about, I realized that the mustache has a long and illustrious history. I am simply placing myself as one more link in that chain. Plus, the sideburns in conjunction make it look I'm a maverick detective in a 70's cop flick. I brainstormed some additional thoughts on possible uses:

Wyatt Earp Fanboy

John Lennon's stunt double

Member of Pink Floyd tribute band

Extra for Oliver Twist: the Musical

Sherlock's lesser known brother, Roy Holmes

For your enjoyment, and for my copyright infringment, I've compiled a short work I've entitled
"Mustache: an Illustrated History".









































fin

Summerten Mixtape

Well, it's about that time. The air's getting warm, the days are getting longer, and the pollen has been absurdly thick in the air (from where I'm standing anyway).

Summer is getting closer. In preparation, I made a draft list of some songs for This Summer's Mixtape Numero Uno. Feel free to add some suggestions:

Fun.- All the Pretty Girls: For those of you not familiar with this band, it's the former lead singer of the Format, members of Anathallo, and Steel Train. They deliver on the promise of their name and so much more. For all the naysayers, I got one thing to say to you- "C'mon." Seriously. The instructions for how to listen to this song are practically in the name and lyrics.

Denison Witmer- California Brown & Blue: This feels like such a summer song, but he does such a great job of capturing the wistfulness of thinking about missed opportunities.

Jonsi- Go Do: The lead singer of Sigur Ros has released some solo work, and yeah, this is something to be excited about. His solo album Go is somewhat a departure from their work. It's more beat-driven and buoyant. I heard this song described on npr as "five minutes of pure joy." That description of this song is spot-on. It is Jon Birgisson at his most ebullient.

Mumford & Sons- Winter Winds: These guys are new to me. I’ve been hearing about them for awhile, often in a sentence that also contained the words “Avett Brothers”. When they’re on, they’re on. And in this song, they’re on. And I like that it’s a love song that ends in a seemingly ambiguous place.

Le Loup- Grow: Another exciting export from the Ol’ World, as they say. Le Loup is hauntingly beautiful (grammar?); imagine Animal Collective and Fleet Foxes going on a road trip, while Sufjan Stevens and Arcade Fire play quietly on the iPod. That's what this sounds like.

I know. It blew my mind too.

Michael Jackson- Rock With You: Even though last summer was the passing of the King of Pop, the beginning of this year still seems appropriate for a digital homage. What could be better than one of the early hits, and a perennial favorite? I’ll say it. Classic.

The Darkness- Growing on Me: This is such a fun straight up rock n'roll song that I'm pretty sure the words were made up on the spot for.
Yeah, I know what you're thinking. "Weren't these the guys from like four years ago with the spandex and too many guitar solos?" Maybe. But after listening to this song, I would challenge you not to long for a catsuit and a Les Paul to call your own.
Go ahead. Try it.

That's it for now. Call this side A.

Miscommunication (Or, Adventures in Semantics)

Setting the scene:
I’ve just exited a fine production of Stravinsky. I’m stepping outside onto the patio with everyone else to congratulate some of the players and enjoy some tasty hors d’oeuvres and light conversation (or light hors d’oeuvres and tasty conversation, whichever you prefer. But you get the idea). In any case, as I was standing there enjoying my pate and eloquently pontificating to a most patient listener on the striking similarity of Stravinsky’s piece to Charlie Daniel’s masterpiece “Devil Went Down to Georgia”, when a nearby lady ambles into the conversation. I’m unsure of the exact conversational entry point, but I only remember hearing a heavily accented voice (addressed to my companion) “You know, Stravinsky was Russian. By the way, you shouldn’t eat that brownie. Brownies will make you fat.” Shortly thereafter, I found myself asking her questions about her background. “So you’re from Russia? What part?” etc. She explained that she was from a couple of hours outside Moscow. I then proceeded to ask what I thought was a fairly valid question. “So, where you’re from, is it a bigger town or like, a smaller village?” Her face contorted into a look of pained confusion. “What?” she snapped loudly.
Had I said something wrong? Maybe the synapses had misfired, and my brain said one thing and my mouth another, something inane and offensive, like “sweatshops are okey-dokey” or “underarmour is acceptable Saturday night casualwear.” I haltingly tried again. “Uh, you know, the place where you live, is it a larger town or like, a smaller village?” Her face settled into an expression of oh-yes-of-course. “Yes, I live in a village, there’s only about 400,000 people that live there.”
I’m glad we got that cleared up.

So I was driving this afternoon today for work. Had an idea for a star wars-themed coffee shop.

Drink names (still just in the brainstorming phase):

java the hutt (a house blend, perhaps?)
mocha fett
latte calrissian
leia americano (get it- leia organa, americano? it's a stretch, but hey I'm really trying to make this work here)


Names:
A Brew Hope

Remember how in Back to the Future there was the awesome futuristic diner? Kind of like that, but better. Wookie uniform mandatory. Basic understanding of Shyriiwook language as well. Still in the planning stages- I'll work out some more kinks later. Suggestions are welcome.

New Beginnings (Or, a Misadventure in Cliche)

Well, dear unsuspecting reader, what you have stumbled upon is the first blog post. That's right, the very first one. You might be asking yourself at this point, "What major life event has he undergone recently that I wasn't privy to?" And the answer is.... (drumroll please) nothing. That's right. I haven't moved to a foreign country with the Peace Corps. I'm not hiking the Appalachian Trail and stopping in provincial towns at the one computer to update you on my progress. And I didn't have a child (but who knows, science is getting pretty amazing last I heard).
So the real reason I am doing this is that is the only way I can think of to keep track of all the ridiculous things that I can't remember any other way. I can promise you this, most of it will probably be so absurd and self-indulgent that it is absolutely blog-worthy.


So be prepared, dear reader, to follow me down the rabbithole.